The year 2006 was a very good one; very good indeed. Saddam Hussein was killed, and I want to snuff the next crazy jihadist and all his asshole friends. Terrorists, or destructionists, as they prefer to be called, are no longer satisfied with destroying a bus, a plane, two enormous buildings, or gassing six million people. They now want to obliterate cities, destroy continents, or even eradicate humanity. They are obtaining the tools. My name is Steven and this is where I come in.
Before whacking the bad guys, completing Ranger training is my first hurdle. After graduating from The Ohio State University ROTC program with a master’s degree in electrical engineering, I enlist in the army. This is not a rash decision. My lifelong dream has been to be a Delta Force guy with a focus on black ops, a unit which technically doesn’t exist—except everyone knows it does, like baseball pitchers don’t use ‘stuff’ on their fingers. Get my drift? Exactly.
The process is extremely difficult, but I am determined to ultimately be selected by the revered fraternity known as Delta Force, and Army Rangers are my entrée to this sacred world. However, you have to be extraordinarily qualified and sail through the agonizingly difficult training levels to even be considered for Delta. In addition, four years of special ops service is a demanding prerequisite. Hard to believe, but I have all the makings to be this improbable soldier.